I was really looking forward to returning to Nashua. This was not only the tournament at which I won the last gold points that I needed for Life Master; it was also being held at the same beautiful hotel in which six years ago I was privileged to spend several days living in the middle of a girls’ dorm during prime bikini season. Unfortunately, the exigencies of closing my business meant that I could only afford to spend three days this year, and my wife Sue’s insistence on coming with me meant that I had to keep my fantasies in check as well.

Back in the early spring a lady named Jane Jensen had sent me an e-mail from England inquiring about this tournament. I wrote back that it had been moved from Sturbridge to a much nicer hotel in Nashua, NH. I was very happy to see her name on the list of high finishers when I checked the results after the first day.

As often happens, I was unable to persuade any of my partners from the Hartford area to attend the tournament. I had arranged to play with Ginny Iannini from the Cape on Friday and Sunday. We had never played together before, but I agreed to play most of her card. We had exchanged a dozen or so e-mails about particulars of XYZ and a few conventions with which I was unfamiliar. I had never played upside-down signals before, but I was pretty sure that I could persuade Ginny to wear my Barça cap upside-down while we played.

I had no partner for Friday. I hate making last-minute arrangements, and I was counting on the Online Partnership Desk on NEBridge.org to help me contact someone early enough so that we would at least have time to agree on a card. Alas, I was disappointed. My name was up there for over a month, but no one responded, and no one else announced their availability for the Saturday games. I would definitely be interested in any ideas about how we can get more people to use this terrific program. Sue, on the other hand had talked one of her partners into playing on the weekend, but she needed a partner for Friday.

I was also worried about taking photos for the Winners Board. I had put together a list of the winners, and I had brought my camera, but I did not know how I would be able to contact so many people, most of whom I did not know personally and some of whom would likely have departed before I arrived. As it turned out, this was not an issue at all. While I was dickering with prospective purchasers of used office equipment in Connecticut Sarah Widuh had done a masterly job of chasing down winners in New Hampshire.

The drive to Nashua was very easy. We encountered no delays at all in the 68 miles from the Sturbridge exit, and so we made it in less than two hours. Sue and I both filled out cards at the Partnership Desk.

On Friday morning we both ordered the weekday special breakfast at the IHOP. The price is right, and these meals are just about the only way to eat there without consuming an obscene amount of calories.

I met up with Ginny about forty-five minutes before the first session. I had mistakenly thought that we would be playing in the Compact Knockout, but instead we were playing in the brutal A/B pairs. My proposal concerning her headgear offended either Ginny’s high ethical standards or her fashion sense. I was therefore forced to remember how to signal without any visual aids. I don’t recall making any mistakes in that regard, but we had enough problems in other areas that our result was not very good at all.

The highlight for me occurred on the first or second round when we played against the Jensens. I took a photo of them for these notes, but I ended up using it for the Winners Board when I discovered that they had won their flight in the Open Pairs on Thursday. The low point was the last match. Jenny had made the right decision to bid 5♠ over Carole Weinstein’s 5♥ bid, but I butchered the play and went down. This really grated on me.

Incidentally, Ginny Iannini (pronounced eye-uh-KNEE-knee) is running for the EMBA board, and she would appreciate your vote.

At lunch I lost $2 in the coke machine, but I enjoyed a sandwich that Sue, who was hardly hampered by the lack of a mini-fridge, constructed. She had found a partner, Rosemary Cournoyer, and they had done pretty well. The focus of our attention at luch was on hand #4. Sue, who held the same cards in the North seat that I did, found herself in an ill-fated 2♥ contract that went down two. At our table the same contract was played by East-West, and we set it four tricks. It was easily our best board of the session.

Ginny and I played better in the afternoon until the last table versus my long-time friend from Rhode Island, Marcia West, and her partner, Marilyn Mora. Our defense was pitiful on both hands, and we ended up just under 50%.

On Friday evening we had our first B’s Needs meeting in a few months. Joyce Stiefel, who had been playing with Sandy DeMartino, showed up with a patch over one eye. When Sandy, who is the head of the national Goodwill Committee arrived a few minutes later, several people accused her of trying to poke Joyce’s eye out because of a mistake at the table. Mark Aquino opined that she had gone Goodwill Hunting. When a new member, Jan Rosow, later suggested that the hospitality treat and time for each day be displayed prominently on an easel or something similar, Mark averred that that could easel-ly be accomplished.

Sue and I ate supper at Shorty’s Mexican Roadhouse. We spent a good deal of time examining hand #4 in the afternoon session. East-West had plenty of tricks on that hand, and Sue was able to score ten of them in a 4♠ contract. However, if North-South lead trumps, and South holds up with the ♥A until the second round, West can never reach the board to cash the heart tricks and will be lucky to find any other tricks outside of the spade suit.

After supper I checked the Partnership Desk. There were only four cards for Saturday, and none looked very promising.

Sue and I made my usual trip to McDonald’s for sausage biscuits with egg. The establishment within a few blocks of the hotel was one that still offered any size coffee for $1.

A meeting of the Website Committee had been scheduled at the last minute. It focused on a problem with the agreement with the developer of the Fast Results and Online Partnership Desk. Rich DeMartino said that he would talk with him.

I hooked up with Bill Gay from Framingham, MA, for the two sessions on Saturday. We had enough time to come up with a reasonable card. I persuaded Marcia and Marilyn to cash in their tickets for the pairs game so that the four of us could play in the Compact Knockout.

Playing in the team event was definitely a good idea. Not only was the lighting MUCH better in the smaller room, but our luck improved. Nevertheless, we came within an eyelash of being eliminated a three-way in the first round. Our teammates had some difficulty against a team that we should have defeated, and we lost by six IMP’s. The other match hinged on the last hand. We were declaring, and the declarer was playing a very iffy 4♥ contract with only eight trump. Bill led the ♥10 from his J 10 holding. This confused the declarer, and he played me for Jxxx in hearts. Bill scored his jack to enable us to set the contract three tricks. At the other table it only went down two. We won the match by only one IMP. Since the opponents in that match won their other match handily, we were able to advance even though our net total was negative. We then won both halves of our second match as Bill and I became comfortable with one another’s styles.

Our team ate lunch with four players from Rhode Island who had been successful in the second round of the Friday-Saturday KO. However, they learned from the directors that because they would be unable to play in the final round because of commitments to attend a meeting of the NABC Committee, they would, in fact be prohibited from playing in the semifinals as well. One of them, Lois DeBlois, had received a “damnit doll” as a present for her 38^th (again) birthday. The little guy earned his keep during lunch. Evidently, enough pressure was relieved. The four of them finished first in C in the Single-Session Swiss.

On the way to the semifinals I was summoned into the Shade Grill and Bar by fellow Nutmeggers Joyce Stiefel, Donna Feir, and Susan Seckinger, who were drinking their lunch there. They asked me to play with them in the team game on Sunday. When I informed them of my commitment to play on the team that Ginny had assembled, they dug around in their purses and proffered two twenties, a five, three ones, and a pair of quarters. I superciliously informed them that I was a man of honor and high moral standing and that I would never dump a partner that I esteemed so highly for such a paltry sum.

Bill and I were not feeling too sanguine about our result in the semifinal match, but our teammates came through for us. In the finals we faced a very good team that we had somehow bested in our second three-way. We played pretty well in the final, too, but the match came down to three dicey games that Bill and I eschewed. The opponents sitting in our chairs made two of them. We were not too disappointed. We congratulated our vanquishers, and I took their photo. I also took a photo of Ausra Geaski’s team, which won Bracket 1.

I stayed around after my teammates left so that I could snap the winners of Bracket 3. I admit that I was rooting for Ginny and Sarah, who were playing together. However, something very strange happened.

In the semifinals of a compact knockout, there are almost always two simultaneous matches. One is for first place, and one is for third place. The combatants sit ABAB, where A is one half of the first-place match, and B is one half of the third-place match. The caddies then skip a table when changing the boards at the halfway mark. In this case, however, the layout somehow became ABBA. The caddies still skipped a table, which meant all twelve boards in each match were hopelessly fouled.

Cheryl Porter-Garofalo, the director who was running this event, was tasked with handling this nightmare. She adroitly calmed everyone down, and ruled that both matches had ended in a tie, which necessitated a three-board playoff. Ginny and Sarah had felt very good about the outcome of their twelve boards, but they lost the playoff. I took photos of two of the three winners of the Single-Session Swiss, but for the first time ever one of the teams declined to be photographed.

Sue and I took her partner, Judy Caravagno, to supper at Lui Lui’s. I was eager to try their pizza, which is cooked in a huge wood-fired oven that supposedly is maintained at 800 degrees. It was above average for American pizza, but no one from Italy would go there.

Sunday morning began bizarrely. Our room was right next to the washer and dryer. Someone had placed an unbalanced load in the latter, and it produced an eerie thumping sound. Sue and I thought that we were living “The Telltale Heart.”

The Board of Delegates meeting began at 8:30. The news about attendance at the tournaments was as bad as expected. This is really a shame because there a lot of people have worked very hard to improve the atmosphere at these events, and their efforts have made a noticeable difference. Part of the problem is simply our demographics, but we also need to find a better way to reach out to players whose previous experiences soured them on regional tournaments.

The less said about the Round Robin the better. I played with Ginny, Judy Murray, and Bruce Saunders. We only won one match, and on the decisive hand I made a stupid bid that kept us out of a slam that went down at the other table. Ginny, however, gathered in thirteen tricks. We lost the last match on a hand that demonstrated the importance of understanding the adjustments when applying the LAW.

North-South have eight diamonds, and East-West havt clubs. The former can obviously take ten tricks, which is what happened at our table. East-West, however, can actually make 5♣, which is what happened at the other table. Don’t ask me how they bid it.

The LAW says that this hand should produce sixteen tricks, but it actually produced twenty-one. Part of the answer is North’s diamond suit, but the rest comes from the extreme purity of the suit holdings. Every honor except South’s ♠J is productive if the right suit is trump, and only the aces and the ♥K are productive if the opponents name trump.

I had a great time in Nashua. The hotel obviously needs to do something about the lighting in the main ballroom, but the people who run the tournament are definitely aware of the problem. I cannot guarantee that this problem will be fixed before next year’s event, but I would lay heavy odds. The rest of us can help by talking up what a nice place this is to hold a tournament and how much fun the events have become.